Hello, and welcome to the first entry in my one-part series, Let’s Redeem a Movie.

 

Office Killer

A movie doesn’t have to be good at everything. It just has to be good at the right things. What’s the plot of Grease? Who gives a shit! The songs are catchy.

So when I hear a movie getting savaged because the story doesn’t make sense, my first question is whether the story needs to make sense. It’s not a given that it does! Just because you like it when a movie has a logical plot it doesn’t mean a movie has to have a logical plot. I like videos of cats wearing people clothes, but if I never see one again I’ll find the strength to carry on.

Which brings us to Office Killer, a movie beloved by no one and whose sole DVD sale is probably being used to stabilize a table somewhere. That’s some bullshit! It’s a solid flick, and it checks a lot of boxes – runtime under 90 minutes, Carol Kane giving a performance that’s either gonzo or subdued depending on which eye you happen to be covering, a supporting cast that doesn’t make obvious the order in which people will be (or even should be) murdered. These are good things! I like these things. Leave these things alone. They’re trying their best, these things.

It would actually be less frustrating if it wasn’t so obvious why people didn’t give a shit about Office Killer when it first came out, and why they continue giving perilously few fucks all these years later: it doesn’t occupy any obvious lane. Doesn’t wink enough to be a spoof, isn’t batshit enough to be giallo, doesn’t establish a frenetic enough pace to be a popcorn slasher, doesn’t comment on workplace dynamics enough to be a statement movie.

These things, I’ll admit, sound bad. But just because a film doesn’t fit into a recognized sub-genre doesn’t mean it’s a failure, it just means that the film… doesn’t fit into a recognized sub-genre. I like that Dorine is ambiguous in her intentions, or that the movie follows side characters for long stretches as if they were the leads. And that sickly brown-yellow light that dominates the office! It’s fucking icky! I love it! If Office Killer doesn’t fit into a sub-genre, then just fucking making one – the Something Is Wrong, and I’m Pretty Sure It’s the World We’ve Created sub-genre. Shit, maybe this movie was ahead of its time.

The End

The only thing a movie has to do is give you a reason to keep watching it. Everything else is extra. That’s why everybody likes porn – you get the thing you want to see (boning) and nothing else. People who film themselves having sex and then sell those videos to strangers have a lot of issues, but lack of narrative focus is not one of them.

Office Killer swaps out boning for vibes – sometimes weird, sometimes campy, sometimes challenging, sometimes oppressive, sometimes depressing, sometimes a combination. It’s so good at giving us vibes that it barely gives us anything but vibes. And that’s the point! A weird and uncomfortable tenor is to Office Killer what the musical numbers are to Grease – the real star of the show. Don’t worry so much, and have fun singing along.